


guest of honour

by joyrdings



Category: Ben Mitchell - Fandom, EastEnders (TV)
Genre: Ben not knowing his own emotions, Blowjobs, Fluffy moments i guess, M/M, Oral Sex, Porn With Plot, Semi-Public Sex, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-24
Updated: 2019-07-24
Packaged: 2020-07-19 03:55:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,949
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19967629
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/joyrdings/pseuds/joyrdings
Summary: “This is usually the part where you tell me that you love me.”“I’ve already said it.”“I want, need, to hear it again."





	guest of honour

**Author's Note:**

> first ben/callum post, might end up being my last if this doesn't go down well! feedback appreciated x

There was a breeze as Callum stood outside the church, a mixture of emotions and feelings swirling around in his mind as he stood with Mick, greeting each guest that arrived entirely unknowing of the feelings Callum was having. He felt like a fraud as he thanked every guest for their kind words, expressed how much he loved Whitney and how it was the happiest day of his life because it wasn’t - it was one of the worst days of his life.

He was sure that most men at their weddings pictured their wife walking down the aisle, looking remarkable in white with friends and family surrounding them but Callum couldn’t, all he could think about was Ben Mitchell and how the man had taken over his life within the space of a short few months. Everything was going fine before Ben decided to become the next Sherlock and figure out Callum’s secret, he was living his life somewhat happily with the woman that he loved. He had managed to get a steady job that provided a good income along with a flat, they had even discussed having kids and it was just Callum’s luck that Ben would come along when he finally figured out what he wanted in life - or at least that’s what he wanted to believe. Callum, deep down, knew that Ben was one of the best things to happen to him. It gave him a chance to finally rid himself of the secret he had been carrying around with him since he was a teenager with a crush on the guy in the year above him, dark haired, handsome and cocky, a bit like Ben.

It was not surprising when Ben turned up to the church with Jay and Lola, a fake smile on his face yet the smug expression still there. It was hurting him inside, killing him practically. What started out as something fun and amusing that would pass the time, had turned into something more and it was unexpected but not unwelcome. Ben looked forward to leaving the house and he often prayed that he would bump into Callum on the square, just a quick smile shared between the two of them had Ben’s heart racing for the rest of the day and the brightest smile on his face.

“You don’t look well _mate_ , something bothering you?” Ben asked as Lola and Jay engaged in conversation with Mick about the reception party, the three of them ignorant to the chat that Ben and Callum were having. “Something on your mind, maybe. I don’t know, probably a secret - “

“Not today,” Callum hissed, eyes shooting daggers at Ben. “Please.”

“Why not?” Ben raised one eyebrow as his eyes moved up and down Callum’s body in a not so subtle way. “Still got time to leave, Whitney won’t be here for a while - “

“I don’t want to leave. I want to get married.”

“I want you to leave. I don’t want you to get married.” Ben’s voice was getting louder as he spoke, anger and sadness getting to him but he calmed himself down before he got any unwelcome attention from his best friends and Mick. “Fuck sake, Cal. Why are you doing this to yourself, to me, to Whitney?”

“Let’s do this later, Ben.”

“You’ll be a married man later on.”

“I’m sorry.”

Ben looked down at the ground and took in a deep breath before shrugging. “Congratulations, mate.” His tone was softer than before and it was something that Callum had only heard a handful of times. Ben didn’t mean his words, believed they sounded disgusting in his mouth but he wasn’t going to ruin the day, no matter how much he wanted to just be with Callum. “I hope you and Whitney will be very happy together.”

“We will be, thank you.” Callum was not convincing with his words and it made Ben chuckle a little bit, tempted him to make another comment that would rile Callum up but he remained quiet and looked down at the ground, hoping that Callum would suddenly have a change of heart and leave the church with him. It was all in his head, a sham fantasy he had created when he couldn’t sleep at night but it was his fantasy, his wish, and he desperately wanted it to come true. “Are you going to go inside or are you going to continue to annoy me?”

Ben shook his head. “Yeah, might as well get myself comfy for the performance that you are about to put on. Who knows, maybe you’ll be eligible for an Oscar by the end of the day.”

+++

Ben couldn’t help but roll his eyes multiple times throughout the wedding ceremony, the fakest smile known to man plastered onto his face as he watched the man that he loved marry somebody else. Ben was fuming but he wasn’t going to let it show, at least not yet. As much as he was angry with Callum, he would never go to the effort of outing him or causing a huge scene. Subtle looks and snide comments from Ben were enough to make Callum know where he stood with Ben. As soon as the words ‘I do’ were said, nothing would be the same between them again. 

“... Speak now or forever hold your peace.”

It was like Ben couldn’t control his body as a loud cough came from him, a few heads turning to look at him in panic, Callum included. There was fear in Callum’s eyes, deep down half amused with Ben’s act but his face didn’t show that expression. Ben looked around and quietly mumbled an apology, whispering to Lola that he had a tickly throat before turning his attention back to Callum whose heart was racing as the vicar continued on with their words.

“What’s up with you?” Lola hissed, her elbow slightly jabbing Ben.

“Nothing is wrong with me, Lola. I’m just enjoying the wedding.”

“You’re a liar.”

“Yeah?” Ben shifted to the side slightly and raised one eyebrow, a knowing look in his eyes. “I’m not the only one.”

+++

“Got a habit of following me into these toilets, you know?” Ben joked as he threw the paper towel into the bin, only looking at Callum through the mirror in front of him. “Had a good day?”

“Yeah, it’s been nice.” Callum didn’t know why he was in the toilets or what he was going to say. He just needed to know if Ben was truly angry with him or if it was something that he was putting on to wind him up. It was starting to become a habit - Callum would only be okay when he knew where Ben stood with him. “Are you okay?”

“What do you think?” Ben snorted, his hands gripping the sink counter. “The man that I love has married a woman. It’s not exactly the highlight of my life but it’s fine, I’ll get over it. Just like I’ll get over you.”

Callum’s breath hitched. The thought of Ben not wanting him turning his blood cold but what did he expect? Callum knew that he was selfish but he couldn’t help himself in the slightest. The thought of being without Ben was something that terrified him but so did the thought of being without Whitney. He was stuck in a situation that he couldn’t get himself out of.

“I don’t want you to get over me,” he finally said, his voice low and quiet, almost a whisper. He knew that the toilets were empty, everyone else enjoying the free bar but it didn’t stop him from fearing that somebody was lingering around and listening in on the conversation. “I want you to want me.”

“I do want you, Callum. I want you more than anything in the world but I’m not going to put my life on hold for you. You need to figure out what you want because I’m not going to keep waiting for you.” Ben looked down towards the sink and tried to keep his emotions in check, afraid that he would come across as weak or emotional. It was rare for Ben to show his true side, the malicious cunning side of him seemingly more appealing but with Callum, it was different. Still, he wasn’t prepared to continue to expose his true emotions if it was all for nothing.

“I’m sorry.”

Ben chuckled sardonically before silencing himself. “Hmm, I know,” he mumbled, voice cracking slightly. “Nothing can be done about it now though, can it? I’ll just continue to be me and you can continue to live a lie.” Ben was a better liar than he thought.

“Do you hate me?”

“Why would I hate you?”

Callum shrugged and attempted to move closer to Ben who had turned around, his body now leaning against the marble counter. He was starting at Callum intensely, his inquisitive mind trying to read Callum’s body language but the older man was unreadable, his emotions closed off since the minute he said ‘I do’.

“Because I keep messing you around and I don’t mean too - I just don’t know what to do, Ben. If I leave Whitney then I’ll hurt her but if I stay with Whitney, then I’ll hurt you. I can’t win.”

Biting his bottom lip, Ben took one step closer to Callum and placed one hand on his cheek, the most contact they had shared in almost a week. “There’s only one person who’s going to end up truly hurt and that’s you.”

+++

Callum had never felt more alone.

Sat in the corner of the pub nursing a glass of whiskey, Callum looked around at the endless amount of people who showed up to celebrate the wedding [and the free bar]. Whitney was loving every minute as she chatted to the guests, smiled and laughed as she spoke highly of Callum, blissfully unaware of how lonely Callum felt. No-one in the pub had noticed the disappointed look on Callum’s face, no-one but Ben.

Ben wanted nothing more but to stroll across the pub and comfort Callum, tell him that everything would be okay despite their talk in the toilets. Ben wasn’t an idiot - he knew that it wouldn’t be long before he went running back to Callum because he desperately craved the attention that he gave him. Callum was the only person outside of his closest friends and family who saw his vulnerable side and understood him. There was no judgement, no bad words spoken or anything like that, it was just love at this point.

Ben downed the vodka shot that Jay had given him before turning his head to look at Callum, a smirk on his face when he noticed that Callum’s eyes were already on him. Ben subtly nodded towards the door, mouth saying nothing but eyes saying a million words all at once. Callum understood what he meant, one last time they both thought.

“Where are you going?” Jay asked, hand wrapping around Ben’s wrist to stop him walking any further.

Ben remained silent until Callum was close by, his voice loud enough for him to hear. “Just going to claim what’s mine. Won’t be long.”

Callum rolled his eyes at Ben’s words but it didn’t stop the small smile that came to his face, Callum was his. Whitney, too invested in some conversation with Tiffany and Denise, failed to see Callum slipping out of the pub and Ben a few moments later. Callum felt guilty, for the twentieth time that day, as he turned the corner and went down the infamous alleyway besides the pub, Ben soon behind him.

“Makes a change to the toilet, doesn’t it?” Ben joked; his body already close to Callum’s. He hated how desperate he was to have Callum’s mouth on his but most of all, he hated how he didn’t feel any guilt. “Still, at least you’ll look pretty in this light.”

Callum felt himself warm up under Ben’s gaze, his tongue flicking out to lick his bottom lip. “Thanks,” he mumbled, unsure of how to reply.

“Take a compliment, sunshine,” Ben smirked, hand running down Callum’s arm until their fingers were linked together. “So, what is this then? Want my mouth around your cock one last time before you go back in there and pretend to be a loving and doting husband who loves his wife with all of his heart? Or have you come out here with me to express your undying love for me, how I am the man that you want and that you are going to come out?” Ben’s words were sarcastic like always but his tone was sadder than normal.

“I thought you wanted us to come out here.”

“I did.”

“Why?”

Ben shrugged; his cheeks flushed. “Guess I just wanted to get you alone and actually talk to you without us arguing or saying something we regret.”

It was tiring but neither one of them cared. One minute they were ending whatever it was they had, the next they were refusing over to each other to somewhat confess their feelings. It was complicated and a massive mess but Callum couldn’t care less, he just wanted Ben and he didn’t care if they argued when they saw him, it just proved to him that there was still something there between the two of them.

Callum nodded, a thought in his mind that he didn’t dare to say out loud unless he was thinking too much into it. Still, he decided that today was the day for bad choices. “Are you regretting something that you’ve said to me?” Callum asked, eyebrows raised. “Maybe you regret saying that you didn’t want to wait for me…”

“Bloody heck, how much have you got in your system?” Ben laughed but he made no effort to deny what Callum had said, of course he was regretting it. “I’d wait forever for you, Cal. So, yeah, I do regret what I said. Reckon I was just angry and pissed off after seeing you marry someone else.”

“Would you?” Callum asked, ignoring the last part of Ben’s statement.

“You’re worth it… I hope.” There was a smile on Ben’s face as his hand moved from Callum’s and over to his chest, the crisp shirt rough on his skin. “What is it about you, hey?”

Callum felt tears in his eyes, emotions too much as he watched Ben’s skilful hands move further down his body. He regretted everything that he had done over the past few months, all he wanted was Ben.

“I could say the same about you,” Callum whispered, eyes fluttering shut as Ben’s hand rubbed against his growing bulge and then back upwards, his hand sliding under the shirt until it was pressed flat against Callum’s stomach. “I love you.”

Maybe it wasn’t an appropriate thing to say on your wedding day but Callum couldn’t care less. The alcohol running through his blood was making him overconfident. The conversation they had in the toilets at the pub only making Callum want to fight for Ben, his emotions still blurred yet becoming clearer every time he saw him.

“Do you actually though or are you just saying it to keep me sweet?”

Callum looked down at the ground and shook his head. “I trust you and I know that you will keep my secret. I mean it when I say it Ben and it’s, your - “Callum cut himself off and tried to think of the right words, embarrassment racing through him as he kicked around a bit of stone with the heel of his shoe. “I think you might be the only person I have ever really loved. Like, properly loved. Not in a friend way but in a ‘I wish I was brave enough to come out because if I was when I’d make you mine straight away’ way…”

Ben sniggered at the mess of words that came from Callum. “I understand.”

Callum finally looked back up at Ben, eyes wide as he waited for Ben to repeat it back. “This is usually the part where you tell me that you love me.”

“I’ve already said it.”

“I want, need, to hear it again,” Callum mumbled shyly, almost feeling like a fool for being so desperate for clarification from Ben.

“I love you,” Ben whispered, pushing Callum further into the wall. “I really fucking love you.”

Callum breathed a sigh of relief, despite knowing that Ben did love him. “Can we - “

“Yeah,” Ben interrupted, his mouth already making its way towards Callum’s exposed neck. “All I could think about today was how good you looked at the altar. Wish I had dragged you around the corner and had you there and then. Here will do.”

“Up against a wall? How classy,” Callum tried to joke, his hands pressed flat against the back of Ben’s neck as Ben continued to press kisses up and down Callum’s neck, the temptation to leave marks for Whitney to see strong but somehow, Ben managed to restrain himself. “Not that I’m complaining at all,” he quickly added.

High on adrenaline, Ben wasted no time in unbuttoning Callum’s shirt, his cold hands on Callum’s skin causing the taller man to jump back slightly. “Don’t worry, going to have you spread out on my bed soon. Just need to wait for Whitney to vanish for a while,” Ben mumbled against Callum’s skin, open mouthed presses left against the glistening skin. “Been waiting for ages for this though and I don’t want to wait any longer, need you now.”

The booze that Callum had been drinking since he had arrived back from the ceremony was bringing out a new side of him, his words teasing and full of amusement as he pulled on Ben’s hair, urging him to continue with his actions and get a move on before Whitney or anyone else got suspicious.

“What are you going to do?” Callum asked, forcing Ben away from the crook of his neck and forcing him to look up at him.

“Well, you might have to nip yourself over to the flat and clean yourself up before you go back inside the pub.”

Callum quietly moaned at Ben’s words, his large hand pushing Ben until his back hit the wall, the roles reversed. Nothing else needed to be said between the two of them, Callum already sinking to the floor, not caring about the muck that would most likely stick to the material of his trousers. All he could think about was pleasing Ben and proving that it would always be him despite his marital status. They both knew that no matter how much they tried to give up on whatever it was they had; they would never be able too. A connection beyond fucking had built, the two of them finally understanding each other's emotions.

The nerves that were built up in Callum’s stomach vanished as soon as Ben’s jeans had been pulled down slightly and Ben was signalling for Callum to continue with his actions, Ben’s hand now on the back of Callum’s head as he patiently waited for Callum to wrap his mouth around the head of his cock. Ben’s need for Callum’s mouth on him was stronger than it had been before, it was as if the two of them were having their own ceremony in the form of sex. This intimate time together would seal the deal between them, the lust turning into love.

Ben was warm in Callum’s mouth, heavy against his tongue as he struggled to take all of his girth. Ben’s moans were sinfully sweet as he helped Callum move along his cock by the grip in his hair, so tight that Callum could feel the headache that would come with his release. Callum knew that he was in for an immoral night, full of sin and infidelity but he was too deep when it came to Ben and Callum already knew that his first night as a married man with Whitney would not compare to this. Callum had known since their first kiss in the park that no-one would ever compare to Ben again, the younger man making him feel things that he had never felt with Whitney.

The whimpers coming from Ben should have been a cause for concern that they might get caught in the act, a married man on his knees for another bloke, but with Ben’s body and mind weakening all Callum could think about was bringing Ben to the place he desired the most. Ben’s dominance changed form as he neared his end, too rough to keep up with the grip on Callum’s hair and his hand instead flattened against the brick wall as he thrust his hips, Callum’s throat constricting as he forced the tip of his cock to meet Callum’s gag reflex. There were tears in Callum’s eyes as Ben continued his thrusts, the tip of his cock meeting the back of Callum’s throat with every thrust of his hips. ‘Said you’d look pretty in this light’ Ben whimpered at one point, only encouraging Callum to push himself even further. Ben allowed Callum to do his own thing for a couple of minutes as he tried to regain his breath, sweet words slipping from Ben’s lips as he encouraged Callum, told him how no other man had sucked his cock like him and that he knew he would be lost when they went back inside and Callum continued his performance as the loving husband.

Callum’s lips were darkened and red with salvia, his tongue flicking out and licking along his bottom lip in an attempt to tease Ben. His face was emotionless though when Callum looked up at him, Ben unimpressed with how slow things had started to go. The emotionless expression was soon replaced with pleasure when Callum swirled his tongue around the head of Ben’s cock, continuing a few times until Ben was whimpering above Callum, desperate to feel Callum’s hot mouth wrapped around his length. Cheeks were hallowed as Callum bobbed up and down without stopping, keen to get Ben to his peak so he could remember the taste of him in his mouth as he came down from his high.

“Come on,” Ben whined, tugging on thick hair on the top of Callum’s head when Callum removed his mouth and placed his hand around the girth of Ben’s cock instead. “Stop being such a tease, yeah? Need to fucking - “

Ben was cut off by Callum sucking on the head of his cock, knowing full well that it would shut him up instantly. After a couple more minutes of Ben trying to keep his orgasm as bay so he could saviour the feeling of Callum’s wet and hot mouth on his girth, his back arched off the wall as he came down Callum’s throat, a bit of his come slipping down his chin which Callum happily cleaned up.

Ben was still trying to get his breath back when he felt Callum’s mouth on his, a filthy kiss that had Ben all riled up again despite just having one of the best orgasms of his life. Ben’s hand was immediately on the back of Callum’s neck as he deepened the kiss, all the emotions of the day going into one kiss that Ben would cherish until the next. Ben’s left arm was wrapped around Callum’s neck and his right hand was pressed against his cheek, their bodies pushed together as they moaned and whimpered into each other’s mouths.

“Love you,” Ben mumbled against Callum’s swollen lips, a few pecks pressed against them after he had spoken. “So much.”

“And I love you.” 


End file.
